Outside of fantasy sports, I’m not much of a gambler. The extent I go to betting on games usually culminates with me paying a buddy five bucks after I bet him that “Jay Cutler will throw an interception on this drive.” However, I love prop bets. It’s just so ridiculous and so in-tune with the rest of the nonsense that surrounds the Super Bowl that I have to go through it every year. So here they are, the most ridiculous things you can willingly lose money on this year:
HOW MANY TIMES WILL “DAB” OR “DABBING” BE SAID BY THE ANNOUNCERS DURING THE BROADCAST?
Right off the bat this is probably my favorite. To think about old white men discussing dabbing is fantastic to begin with. But then you throw odds on how many times they’ll say/talk about it? Count me in. Count me in every day.
WILL THERE BE AN EARTHQUAKE DURING THE GAME?
There’s nothing like rooting for a good ol’ earthquake if your team didn’t make it to the big game. What if someone wins thousands of dollars on this bet but the disaster injured a bunch of people? Does that make him/her the biggest asshole on the planet? No, kind sir, you are not an asshole. You just have a gift, possibly of the superhero nature.
HOW MANY WINGS WILL BUFFALO WILD WINGS SELL ON SUPER BOWL DAY?
This is a tough call. I don’t know which way things are trending in terms of if people go out more or stay home more during the Super Bowl. And does this count take out orders or only in-restaurant consumption? I need answers.
WILL DENVER WIN SUPER BOWL, PEYTON MANNING RETIRES, SAN ANTONIO WINS NBA CHAMPIONSHIP, TIM DUNCAN RETIRES?
This is going at 20/1…I’ll take that all day. You know the retirement parts are a foregone conclusion if the winning the championship part falls into place. Money in the bank.
WHAT COLOR WILL BEYONCE’S FOOTWEAR BE WHEN SHE COMES ON STAGE FOR THE HALFTIME SHOW?
This is strictly so I can force myself to watch the halftime show. Otherwise I’ll just be eating and drinking more, and no one needs to see that.
You can find all of the bets and their odds here.