I’d Rather Eat Sand than Watch Whatever That Was On Sunday

Not that we were expecting anything different.

I can’t believe the Bears couldn’t put on a good show for that electric fan base which had around 6,000 empty seats. Though I guess they deserve a pass because the Jags have been on the rise for the past 20 years. Personally, I’m thrilled with the loss. Couldn’t ask this squad for anything more. Plus this will keep Gus Bradley around at least one more game for the Jags, which I’m sure Jacksonville is happy about.

If there were no logos on the uniforms I would not have known I was watching an NFL game. The only difference between the Bears game and watching Mt. Carmel vs. St. Rita on CSN+ is that the players actually want to be at the high school game. I’m not surprised, because 75% of the teams are poopy in today’s NFL. But this was on a different level.

It’s not even that the Bears lost, because we knew they were going to lose. When they failed to score a touchdown for about 105 drives in a row, I could tell the Jags pretty much had this one wrapped up. Brian Hoyer is hilariously bad. Alshon should’ve had at least two touchdowns, which probably would’ve prevented his post-game comments. If there is an important throw to be made, you can be damn sure that Brian Hoyer isn’t going to make it. Maybe he is the QB the Bears need. Maybe he’s the savior. I mean, he’s going to do everything possible to not throw interceptions so he can get a starting job elsewhere next season. Which means the Bears won’t score any touchdowns. Which means they won’t win any games. Which means they’ll have another high draft pick to blow. Perfect.

At this point if you’re still arguing about Cutler vs. Hoyer you should just go pound sand. It doesn’t matter. You could tell me Cade McNown is suiting up for their next game and I’d be a zombie. I don’t care. The Bears are now one of THOSE teams. You know, the teams that play on Thursday Night Football and you say “I’m going to watch The Notebook instead.” And to put a cherry on top, Kershaw ruined lives against the Cubs last night. I guarantee someone in the city of Chicago will be fired on Monday because the Bears lost to the Jags and the Cubs lost Game 2.

Just be careful around your boss today.

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