Schwarbs is Officially Back

This pretty much solidifies the fact that Theo and Jed have the biggest stones on earth.

The Cubs released their World Series roster and Bam-Bam impersonator Kyle Schwarber’s name is right in the thick of it. In case you haven’t watched a baseball game this year, he’s returning from missing the whole season because of a torn ACL and LCL. I’m not surprised at all. Schwarbs is a simple guy. All he wants to do is hit baseballs as far as he can.

There’s no shot in hell that he’s feeling the pressure or has lost his swing in any way. He’s the type of guy that doesn’t really think about how he’s swinging, he just knows that he wants to make the baseball spontaneously combust. If he launches one into orbit at any point during this series, Chicago might have an exploding head epidemic on its hands.


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