Happy Jaguars/Titans Thursday Night Football Day

Christmas come early.

Tonight, we get the annual Jags/Titans Thursday Night Football game and I couldn’t be more excited. This is exactly the type of terrible football that’s going to get the NFL’s ratings back up where they belong. I’m purposely not looking up what the color rush uniforms are just to see if it’s possible to spontaneously throw up. Crossing my fingers that we get the dehydrated piss-colored Jags uniforms. No spoilers please.

This is honestly a huge joke at this point. All the fat cats in the NFL are sitting back in their leather office chairs laughing at all of us mortals watching the grossest football ever. Sure, the ratings are down, but this game is still raking in bundles of cash for the evil empire. Just look at Twitter, the poor saps. The NFL snaked an extra $10mm in chump change to give the social media giant permission to stream a Division 1-AA game branded as professional football. I assume they make that up in ad dollars, but the point is clear.

Oh, and as if this wasn’t enough, the public humiliation that is the Bears will continue on Monday Night Football this week.

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