The Chicago Cubs Are World Series Champions

Given the circumstances, I find it hard to believe you can show me a Game 7 in any sport that was as ridiculously epic as what we just saw. Let’s start from the top…

Dexter Fowler led off the game with a home run to start the madness. And just like that we already had history, because leading off Game 7 with a home run had never happened before.

In the third, Kyle Hendricks gave up the tying run but also worked around the second error of the game by Javy Baez. He could’ve easily shut down at that point, but that’s not what ballers do.

The Cubs came right back with two more runs in the fourth powered by an Addison Russel sacrifice fly and a Willson Contreras double that was misplayed by Rajai Davis. That was Davis’ second poor defensive play in the inning as he hesitated on the Russell sac fly allowing Bryant to beat the throw. In the bottom of the inning Hendricks put up a zero.

Kluber got yanked in the fifth after a Javy Baez redemption solo shot. Kluber did not record a strikeout in a start for the first time in his career. I think someone wrote about the Cubs possibly having the advantage over Kluber given this was the third time they were seeing him in a week, but I can’t remember who it was. Andrew Miller came in but was not the Andrew Miller we’re used to seeing, as Anthony Rizzo drove in another run. At this point, the rout was on.

In the bottom half Maddon pulled Hendricks after only 63 pitches. Not an unexpected move, but one that was questioned given Kyle was finally starting to settle in. Jon Lester came into the game, complete with his security blanky David Ross, and proceeded to throw a wild pitch that scored two runs. Side note: if this was an NFL game Ross would’ve been put in the concussion protocol.

But no worries, because David Ross is now the greatest baseball player to ever live. And he celebrated his home run by slapping weiners with other grown men. At this point nothing was weird.

We skip ahead to the 8th, where Maddon put in Aroldis Chapman. Brandon Guyer doubled in one run…and then it happened.

I could actually see Joe Maddon morphing into a goat. Horns and all. Check the tape. Everything he had done up to this point was now being questioned. Chapman was clearly exhausted. He escaped with the game tied.

The Cubs being the Cubs, they immediately built a comeback opportunity. However, Francisco Lindor made a heroic play to strand Heyward at third to keep the game tied. That guy is going to be the reason for sooo many White Sox losses.

In the bottom half, it’s almost as if Maddon was leaving Chapman in out of spite. He may have thrown two fastballs the entire inning, but it worked. Three up, three down. And then…

We got the best crying Jordan tweet in history. Absolute fire. But also absolutely a perfect scenario for the Cubs. This reset was exactly what the Cubs needed. If God didn’t want the Cubs to win, he wouldn’t have pissed on Cleveland to give the Cubs the advantage. In extras, who better to lead off than the War Bear? Schwarber singled to right through a shift for the second time in the game. Almora Jr. pinch ran and tagged up on a deep fly ball by Kris Bryant, then scored on a double by Ben Zobrist. The Indians then decided to load the bases for Miguel Monetero who singles home Rizzo. It was real. And Rizzo was there with us.

What happened in the bottom half will be played over and over again until a meteorite destroys our planet. Our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, greatX12 grandparents had been waiting their entire lives to see it. Carl Edwards Jr. got the first two outs because he’s too young to know that he wasn’t supposed to. Mike Montgomery got his first career save, because of course. The Cubs are World Champs.

Kris Bryant slipped on the play. His foot came out from under him. Even up to the final play of the game, the curse narrative was still alive. But supreme play and uber athleticism killed that narrative. I’m lucky, because all of my friends and family are die-hards. They weren’t sitting outside of Wrigley watching a scoreboard. They were sitting in front of their TV praying to any god that would listen. I couldn’t be happier for them and all Cubs fans out there who deserve this. Now party on.

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