Jake Arrieta is About as Intimidating as a Newborn Without His Beard

So I guess Jake is content with the one World Series then?

I know we’re still in celebration mode, but if the Cubs don’t build a dynasty they should be ashamed of themselves. It starts and ends for Arrieta with his beard. It’s no coincidence that he grew out some wicked facial hair and then became good at pitching. I’m not sure why he would go back to life without a beard.

I guarantee parts of his life are about to fall apart. Flights to Disney World will get delayed. His kale smoothies won’t taste nearly as good. And if he starts next season with this beardless face, you might as well put him in the bullpen.

Of course, if he doesn’t resign then Chicago will be fine with him leaving the beard here.


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