The MLB Needs to Outlaw Divine Intervention

We all wondered if there was a Higher Power pulling the strings when that rain delay came at the perfect time. Without it, the city of Chicago might be in a state of depression that would last until next April. I think it’s pretty clear now that The Man Upstairs had something to do with it.

Pope Francis was spotted with a Cubs hat, which confirms that he was against the Indians. God’s right hand man is a Cubs fan, so when He saw his buddy’s team letting the World Series slip through their fingertips, He intervened. I wouldn’t be surprised if Cleveland files a tampering case against God before the first pitch of the 2017 season. The proof is right in front of us.

Forget robot umps and replays, the MLB needs to solve their Divine Intervention problem. Just like we can’t have Pete Rose betting against his own team, we can’t have the Almighty potentially changing the outcome of games. Classic case of misuse of power.

Also, can we officially call God the biggest bandwagon fan of all time? He’s like your friend that doesn’t really follow sports but roots for your teams because their success makes you happy. I challenge you to find one picture of God in a Cubs hat. Just one. They don’t exist because He’s a bandwagoner. And no, He’s not an Angels fan either. He doesn’t have time for that shit.

PS if you’re an atheist and this offends you, just relax okay?


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