Apparently Brandon Marshall Doesn’t Recall Scoring Three Touchdowns in a Game in 2014

Everyone knows NFL players are hopped up on goofballs. They have to be in order to keep going through the equivalent of a car crash every week and then coming back to do it all over one week later. Brandon Marshall has said that during a 2014 game against the 49ers he was on so many medications to mask the pain of a high ankle sprain that he doesn’t remember scoring three touchdowns that led to a Bears victory. How…honest?

Let’s forget the fact that Marshall is admitting that he relies on pills to do his job, something that a person with bipolar disorder probably shouldn’t do. Let’s also ignore that little voice in our heads telling us how depressing and sad this is and that it’s partially our fault for loving this brutal game so much. Let’s move on to wondering why in the world Brandon Marshall is being so honest about this. I understand that he’s a part-time “analyst” now, but last time I checked NFL players don’t normally talk about how many drugs they’re on. As a fan, I assume these behemoths are pumped full of steroids and whatever else they need to be able to play. That doesn’t mean I want to hear about how my obsession forces players to willingly watch their bodies deteriorate.

Could it be that Marshall is retiring after the season? It would make sense. Marshall has a mental disorder that isn’t helped by constantly taking pain meds in order to perform on the field every week. He also has a cushy job lined up for whenever he does decide to hang up his cleats. You could also assume that he just doesn’t give a shit anymore. One of the best receivers we’ve ever seen has never been to the playoffs, and it’s been a cruel journey. With the Bears he thought reuniting with Jay Cutler was destiny. He thought the offense would take off under Marc Trestman until he realized his coach was an uber weirdo. He was then shipped to the Jets, only to go 10-6 and miss the playoffs last season. And now they’re losing to the Colts on MNF a billion to zero. He’s had a great career, but it’s almost too depressing to look back on.


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