Why Is Everyone Reacting Like the Yankees Care About Money?

Aroldis Chapman just received enough money to purchase a house with ten garages for him to shoot up. The record-breaking deal for five years, $86mm is the highest ever paid to a reliever. Most of the opinions I’m seeing today are riddled with question marks, saying the Yankees overpaid for a guy who throws one inning. It confuses me, because we’re talking about the goddamn Yankees.

The trendy way of baseball right now is for journalists to applaud teams for tearing it down then building it back up on the cheap. The Cubs did it, and the Sox are doing it. What these nincompoops don’t realize is that it’s still very possible to buy a World Series. In fact, the Yankees have done it, like, a lot of times. Perhaps people were thrown off when New York was selling their high-priced pieces in order to grab top prospects last season. Does anyone else realize that they now have both the really good prospects and the best closer in the game? Worked out pretty well.

Sure, Chapman is overpaid and wasn’t as valuable in the postseason as people thought he would be. The fact that he’s almost incapable of pitching anywhere outside of the ninth inning is a huge ding on his resume in the state of today’s bullpen philosophies. But don’t come at me with these ridiculous articles about this being a questionable move by the Yankees. They basically just rented Chapman out to the Cubs for the price of two top prospects. Why did people expect the Yankees not to overpay and get whoever they want? I repeat, it’s the goddamn Yankees.

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