White Sox Sign Big Mustache Guy Derek Holland

Anyone who refers to themselves as Derek “Dutch Oven” Holland and has a straight-out-of-80s-porn mustache can play for my team any day. The White Sox have reportedly signed left-handed starter Derek Holland to a one year deal. This is pretty much a signing just to get a warm body in the rotation with the possibility of trading him at the deadline if he has a decent year.

Holland has always had the stuff to be a great big league starter but could never get over the injury bug. He missed a good portion of last year with shoulder issues and only came back to put up a John Danks-like stat line. If nothing else, it seems like the Sox have signed quite the character. I suspect he’ll immediately be a Hawk Harrelson favorite, but thank the Lord we won’t have to hear about it.


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