Ranking the Spring Training Hats

I love spring training hats. Mostly because anything new or cool in baseball pisses off every fan over 50, but also because some of them are downright fire.

But I also hate them because they can be soooooo bad. And then you have the teams who don’t have designated spring training hats and just use their regular ones. To those teams: how dare you? From an ownership perspective, why would you not try to start another product revenue stream? Everyone already knows what your normal hat looks like, unless you’re the Diamondbacks and you change uniforms every five minutes.

Here’s the list in reverse order. That way you don’t just read the top five and read leave my website. It’s called strategery.

30) Nationals
They’re in last by themselves for multiple reasons. For one, I can’t believe they’re not in a lawsuit with Walgreens. They’re also supposed to be repping America considering they’re…the Nationals. What you came up with is worse than treason. Oh, and they didn’t even make your spring training hat different. Big middle finger to the Nationals.

23-29) Astros, Angles, Marlins, Mets, Phillies, Pirates, Giants
These are the worst because they didn’t change anything. All of these teams have so much to work with and they didn’t embrace it at all. Just comes down to laziness.

22) Reds
They never really stood a chance to be towards the top because I hate that mustachioed man with a baseball head. You can’t have a baseball for a head. If anyone ever had some horrific accident where a baseball thrown by a train conductor with a mustache hit them in the head, this mascot would haunt their dreams. He looks like he wants to sell me a used car and some Cracker Jacks at the same time. I don’t trust him, and I don’t want him on my head.

Reds hat

21) Tigers
They have two. The orange one is a travesty. Someone should be fired for that. The blue one is the same damn thing they wear during the season. You lose, you lose really hard.

tigers hat

20) Orioles
Huge, gargantuan disappointment. The Orioles black hat with the white front and orange bill is in my top five MLB hats of all time. How could they put that happy little bird logo on something so bland? I was tempted to not even include them on this list because it’s such a bummer.

orioles hat

19) Red Sox
Appreciate the effort, but it falls short for me. Any team that uses their main logo on spring training hats are generally not going to cut it. I feel like this is a hat a NCAA DIII college would wear, and they just flipped the colors or made them different so they don’t get sued.

red sox hat

18) Braves
Granted, Atlanta doesn’t have much to work with but this hat is very dull. The hatchet scheme is way overdone in sports and for whatever reason their hatchet looks more like a pick axe to me. I would say they should have two of them crossing to make an ‘X’ shape but then they might be infringing on some Blackhawks copyright.

braves hat

17) Cardinals
It’s fine, I guess. It’s a step up down the Rockies. They basically cropped out one of the Carindals on their uniform logo and copy/pasted them onto a red hat. Great. Real creative.

cardinals hat

16) Rockies
Jesus, can we get a little effort? You can tell this hat was made by a graphic design intern who doesn’t really like baseball but got the job because he/she knows someone in ownership. The black and purple color scheme has so much potential and you wasted it.

rockies hat

15) Rangers
Super-Texas thing to do, putting the outline of your state behind the logo. I don’t know why but any hat the Rangers develop looks like a Little League cap to me. They’re also docked points because they’re failing to do anything with a badass name like the Rangers.

rangers hat

14) Padres
Getting points for creativity by going against the traditional box approach with the color lining. Overall I feel like when I see this on someone’s head that person is going to look like a jackass, but by itself the hat isn’t all that bad.

padres hat

13) Athletics
You know, there’s so much you can do with an elephant balancing itself on a baseball with a bat in it’s trunk. For whatever reason the A’s decided not to capitalize. The only reason they’re not towards the bottom of the list is because the logo is so damn magnificent. But otherwise, real poor job.

as hat

12) Brewers
Different take on a classic hat, which I appreciate, but if they had stuck with more yellow and the lighter blue it might’ve been higher on the list. On a different note, why do they not incorporate alcohol in their logo? I’m sure there is some rule saying they can’t put beer on their hats, but if that’s the case then change the damn name.

brewers hat

11) Cubs
How could you not love that cute little cub bear face? Look at him, he thinks he’s so tough but he’s just an adorable wittle baby that I want to cuddle with. They might as well have put a picture of a puppy on their hate, because they’re strictly selling the cuteness factor.

cubs hat

10) Mariners
I believe they introduced this ‘M’/downward pointing trident last season but this newer version looks much better. My only bone to pick here is that I don’t feel like the logo goes well with the nickname. A mariner is basically a sailor or ship navigator, and unless they’re hunting giant squid I don’t think many mariners are stowing tridents in their cargo hold. If they were the Seattle Thunder Gods or the Seattle Brick Tamlands it may have worked.

mariners hat

9) Rays
Oh God they were so close. If it weren’t for that stupid logo this hat would be at the top. Stop worrying about offending people and go back to Devil Rays so this hat can be even more fire. Or…just thinking outside the box here…switch color schemes with the Angels. Seems only natural that they have white/light blue/yellow colors anyway. If this hat had the Angels ‘A’ on the front of it we’d have a winner.

rays hat

8) Indians
This is a sneaky good-looking lid. At first you look at it and think they could’ve done better, but the more you see it the more it’s simplicity captivates you. In the spirit of political correctness we’ll never see the smiling Indian head again, but this is a step in the right direction for Cleveland’s new logo.

indians hat

7) Dodgers
It’s so simple and easy yet it works perfectly. This is exactly what a spring training hat should be. Different from the norm but not so different that you don’t recognize which team it is.

dodgers hat

6) Royals
These are so bad but yet I kind of like them. Pro tip, don’t look directly at the crown. It’s like staring into the sun, and you’ll wish you were blind. Focus on the ‘KC’ to make the crown an accessory instead of the focal point.

royals hat

5) Blue Jays
I’m all for anything that gets birds out of baseball. It makes sense, considering Toronto represents all of Canada in the MLB. Might as well embrace that Leaf they’re so fond of. I mean, are there even Blue Jays in Canada? My Wikipedia research tells me their national bird is a gray jay, which is pretty much a fancy looking pigeon.

blue jays hat

4) Yankees
Usually anything with a pattern on the bill of the cap is a hard no for me, but this looks pretty sweet. They also have a gray hat that mixes it up. You have to give credit to a team that comes up with a different way to present a logo that hasn’t changed in a billion years.

yankees hat

3) White Sox
I won’t mince words, I love this hat. The only reason they get dinged in the rankings is because the stick figure hitter on the front resembles the MLB logo, which makes it look eerily similar to an umpire’s hat. Yes, I know White Sox fans, they had that logo back in the 80s but your team also wore shorts and a collared shirts on the diamond at one point too, so let’s not revisit that.

white sox hat

2) Twins
This is the one exception I’m making, and it’s because these hats are outstanding. Another team that has two hats, but unlike the Tigers these lids are actually awesome. The white hat in particular puts them over the top for me. I think they might be wearing these during the regular season but I won’t dock them any points. Too cool.

twins hat

1) Diamondbacks
Here’s your king. The snake on this lid looks like he’s trying to throw a two-seam fastball with his mouth, which I greatly appreciate. In general, I’ve hated everything the Diamondbacks have done since they switched from the purple color scheme but this hat is exempt. It’s also quite intimidating. The snake’s fangs cover half the baseball so we’re looking at an Anaconda-sized snake here.

dbacks hat

Of course, we all know the best hat ever is no longer a team. RIP.

expos hat

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