I’m Fairly Certain I Could Strike Out Tim Tebow

I wasn’t going to dignify the Tim Tebow clown show with a post, but I just can’t help myself. Tim is 0-3 at the plate, not a resounding decimation of his overall ability at the plate. It was this Tweet and video that really made me want to eat cyanide…

He was about 83 years behind that Rick Porcello fastball and his swing looks like he’s trying to handle a wooden leg instead of a bat. On the next pitch, Porcello paints the corner and Godboy decides he has enough clout in professional baseball to look back at the umpire and say something.

If I was the umpire I would’ve thrown him out of the game for even making eye contact with me. Just so I could get into an argument with him and laugh at the non-swear words he would try to use. “Gosh darnit, sir! You know that pitch was not a strike! I believe you need to visit the eye doctor, so I will write down a list of quality optometrists for you! If you mention my name your first set of contacts are free! I apologize for slightly raising my voice, and I hope you receive the care you need!”

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