ESPN Picks the Players Each Team Would Want Up in a Clutch Situation, Dumbness Ensues

Hey, we all love an SEO grab, am I right @ESPN? I have to imagine someone gave this assignment to Bradford Doolittle and he basically swallowed his pride and wrote it in about 12 minutes.

Please read the article, because it has tremendous insight. In what was surely a thorough research process, ESPN has determined that most MLB teams would like to have the best hitter on their team standing in the batter’s box when a clutch situation occurs. Careful, you don’t want to hit innocent pedestrians with skull shrapnel as your mind explodes over that fact.

Some people don’t believe in things such as “being clutch.” Some like to put numbers on it and try to define it like Fangraphs. Doolittle even uses these clutch ratings in his article, so I don’t have a problem with the way it was written. My issue is that it was actually written. Why is this a question that needs to be answered?

You want you best hitter hitting in the big moments and more often. That’s why batting order logic exists. I don’t need someone to tell me that the Angels would probably like Mike Trout hitting during a crucial moment of the game. Yes, I’m pretty sure I can bank on the Marlins wanting Giancarlo Stanton at the plate to hit a big dinger instead of Christian Yelich.

Remember when ESPN was cool? That was awesome.

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