Manny Ramirez Has the Most Manny Ramirez Contract Ever

In January, Manny Ramirez signed for a Japanese team known as the Fighting Dogs. Insert Michael Vick ownership joke here. Some of the details of the contract weren’t disclosed, but goddamn am I happy they were.

In addition to Ramirez’s all-you-can-eat sushi, his contract also entitles him to several other perks, reports Yakyubd.com, via The Boston Globe. The swankiest among them include the use of a Mercedes, along with a driver, a private hotel suite during road games– and the option to skip practices whenever he wants.

This is perfect. I feel like Manny is basically taking this deal because someone bet him that he couldn’t get all-you-can-eat sushi. Or he only signed on the dotted line because of the sushi, and this is the only way to fulfill some sort of sushi obsession. Along the same lines, I’d like to open myself up to the Mexican league with only one contract demand: unlimited tacos (or burritos on off days).

The last point about skipping practices made me laugh. Does he really need something in his contract that says he can skip practices at will? I’m pretty sure if he missed a Fighting Dogs intersquad the manager isn’t going to reprimand Manny Ramirez. And even if he did he would just hop the outfield wall and munch on some hot dogs. What a life.

 

 

 

 

 

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