Yoan Moncada Likes Twinkies Way More Than You

Back in 2015 Yoan Moncada signed a record-setting deal with the Red Sox. The 19 year old infielder from Cuba signed for $31.5 million and received generational wealth overnight. Now 21, on the verge of breaking into the Bigs with his new team, he’s embracing almost every stereotype that is put on international prospects.

In a column from ESPN, Eli Saslow goes in depth to explore Yoan Moncada outside of the foul lines. Apparently the White Sox infielder has a thing for cars just like fellow countryman Yoenis Cespedes, as he wanted 10 of them, fully customized, before his first spring training. This isn’t surprising. Moncada’s only form of transportation in Cuba was a bicycle, so he probably views these cars as his proclamation of officially making it.

A super-rich athlete wanting a bunch of cool cars isn’t news. A super-rich athlete who is built like an NFL linebacker yet consumes up to 85 Twinkies a week, that’s news. The only reason I don’t fully understand this is because I’m not a Twinkie guy. But if you told me he was eating a box of chocolate chip mini muffins a day, I’d be like “damn, that’s a lavish lifestyle.”

This also proves that God took his time creating a few humans while the rest of us were basically copy/pasted and printed out like flyers to a garage sale. If any normal human ate 85 Twinkies a week they’d be dead by age 32. Moncada eats 85 Twinkies a week and has the body of a Greek god and the ability to mash dingers whenever he wants to. How is this fair?


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