If a 310-Pound Pitcher Makes it to the Bigs I’m Giving Up On Life

It’s one thing if a 310-pound monster is 310 pounds because he’s like 7 feet tall and jacked. I wouldn’t be angry if that was the case. It’s quite another if he’s 310 pounds because he likes food a lot.

Jealousy doesn’t even begin to scrape the surface of what I’m feeling right now. Not only does Ben Ancheff get to eat whatever he wants whenever he wants, he gets to do it while playing professional (sort of) baseball. In my mediocre at best pitching career I ran roughly a billion miles trying to get in good enough shape to pitch at the collegiate level. This guy gets winded while going through his windup and is light years ahead of where I was at my best.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m rooting for the kid. I hope he makes it, but if he does I think I’ll have to end it all. This would reaffirm my belief that no matter how hard an individual tries, you can’t work towards making it as a professional athlete. Really makes you think about all that time you wasted trying. If there is a 310 pound pitcher in the MLB I vow to never try at anything ever again.

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