Some Bad Teams Had Some Bad Opening Days

They say the first game of the year means virtually nothing. That it’s only one game and the following games mean just as much. While that’s true, a couple bad teams certainly set the tone for what is probably going to be a rough season.

One of the reasons baseball is great is that you can pretty much tell which teams are going to be dog shit before the season even starts. The Padres are one of those teams, and their Opening Day game against the Dodgers really proved that theory. They lost 14-3 after their “ace” Jhoulys Chacin got lit up for nine earned runs and their experimental hyper-utility player Christian Bethancourt threw two wild pitches in one inning.

Another future bad team (future because they’re going to trade everything but the kitchen sink), the White Sox, got rained out. Not only that, they waited two hours to tell their fans they had taken the day off from work for nothing. They also still went through their Opening Day ceremonies, which was really weird as they trotted each player out in a Ford Mustang while every Sox fan collectively quoted Major League by saying “Who are these fuckin’ guys?” But don’t worry, they’re offering free parking on Tuesday’s make up game. Too bad it’s supposed to rain on Tuesday as well, and Chicago might even get some snow on Wednesday.

How about the Brewers? Another team headed for the toilet in 2017. Their ace Junior Guerra came up limping after laying down a bunt in the bottom of the third. Guerra was later seen in the press room on crutches and will be headed to the 10-day DL. Also, the Brewers lost.

Opening Day may not mean a ton in the long run, but for these bad teams it’s hard not think there’s a bit of foreshadowing. As these clubs continue to trot out lineups full of legit crap, I’m sure we’ll have more funny moments. But for now, these will do.


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