Dad Wrote Letter To Each MLB Team Asking Why His Son Should Root For Them

Parents use their kids for a lot of things nowadays. And why not? They’re your property after all. Why shouldn’t you be able to exploit the cuteness from something that would literally die if you didn’t care for it properly? Recently a dad on Twitter decided to go this route by asking every MLB team why his son should root for them. So far the Pirates, Mets and Astros have fallen for the ploy:

The Pirates owner gave a detailed history of the team, but we know that’s not what Pete Van Vleet is looking for. The Mets sent him a bunch of free baby swag, which is close to what Pete wants but doesn’t quite hit the mark. Finally, the Astros owner sent him a signed picture that can be exchanged for tickets. Jackpot. Something for daddy.

You have to hand it to this guy. He’s not even trying to play the “I root for a bad team and don’t want my son to suffer the same fate” card. He’s a fucking Astros fan, some peoples’ favorites to win the World Series. This is clearly just a giveaway grab. Also, superb execution by sending letters instead of using the internet. Tweets and emails won’t get seen, but a letter will. These owners probably haven’t received a letter on their desk since the turn of the century. Once their employees sweep the envelopes for anthrax you can be damn sure they’re opening those letters.

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