Starling Marte Tested Positive For Nandrolone, a Steroid That Turns You Into a Girl

Whenever a player gets sniped for taking PEDs, I always love looking at what drug they tested positive for. Starling Marte will be serving an 80 game suspension for testing positive for a steroid called Nandrolone. Let’s do some research on this dinger-making drug.

All of this info is from steroid.com, which is apparently a real website. The one glaring side effect of taking this drug is a rise in estrogen levels, which isn’t uncommon for PEDs. From my perspective, it sounds like Marte is just trying to step up for gender equality here, showing that you can hit home runs no matter what you have between your legs.

This drug will also increase nitrogen retention, which is a convenient way for Marte to naturally produce liquid nitrogen and keep his own food/sperm frozen. It will also enhance his bone mineral content, so if any lactose intolerant people out there are looking for a way to have strong bones without drinking milk, here’s your option. It would also appear that this drug stays in your system longer than most other PEDs, which is generally not a great way to pass a drug test.

Finally, the site says Nandrolone is classified as Schedule III drug, and that means it’s illegal to have unless you obtain a prescription for it. So it sounds like Marte is either breaking the law or has Dr. Nick Riviera as his primary care physician. If you’re looking to take some illegal steroid to enhance the probability of making it to the Major Leagues, Nandrolone seems to be a solid option. Just don’t get caught by those pesky Feds!

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