If the Cubs Win the World Series Again I’m Moving to Mexico

Well, despite every effort by myself and like-minded real baseball fans, the Cubs managed to cheat their way to a victory in DC tonight. Sorry, you can’t convince me that a guy throwing 86 MPH can shut down a Major League lineup without doctoring the ball. That play with Zimmerman at the end pretty much confirmed that there were shenanigans at play. I guess hustle gets rewarded with a bad call nowadays.

And how come no one is talking about all of these unpatriotic Cubs fans waving that stupid ‘W’ flag in our nation’s capital instead of Old Glory? Last time I checked there shouldn’t be any flag flying higher than the Stars and Stripes, and I know there were some die-hard Cubs fans watching their first game of the season and waving that dumb letter in the upper deck. Pretty sure that’s treason.

I’m not sure I can take another Cubs World Series win. It’s like every bandwagon fan took permanent residence in my brain and started slowly causing minor aneurysms. The alcohol needed to deal with those assholes only accelerated the brain cell killing process. The only salvation is that I only drink light beer so I’m basically burning calories while polishing off a dozen of those.

Someone. Anyone. Kill the Cubs.

 

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