I don’t think there has ever been a more perfect Monday lineup in the history of Chicago sports. No matter what type of fan you are, if you enjoy sports even a little but you’ll have some form of entertainment today.
The Cubs host the Nats in Game 3 at 3 PM. The momentum sabermetrics are all in Washington’s favor right now, so the Cubs have an uphill battle. Loving this start time because it means I can start drinking during work hours and it gives us a nice staggered schedule that will take us through the night. The start time will also conceive new Cubs fans as they use the game as an excuse to leave work early. In 2020 those same fans will likely be mapping the easiest route from the Loop to the South Side as they try to get to a White Sox postseason game while wearing their newly purchased Yoan Moncada jerseys.
At 6 PM we have puck drop in Toronto as the Hawks take on the Maple Leafs. Both teams have scored roughly a billion goals in their first handful of games, which means you should definitely take the under. It’ll be nice to get a look at a potential Stanley Cup opponent as well since the Hawks returning to the Final is a given. One thing to remember during this game is that the Leafs didn’t name a captain for the 2016-17 season. Scoring eight goals per game is one thing, but you simply can’t win in the NHL without someone brandishing a letter on their chest.
Finally, the main event. Around 7:30 PM Mitch Trubinsky will lead the Chicago Bears onto the field and begin writing history. This is the biggest game for the Bears since Rex Grossman handed the Colts a Super Bowl win. There’s only two plausible reactions to how Trubinsky plays tonight. He’s either going to be the greatest quarterback who has ever lived, or the Bears should consider drafting another QB next year. Middle ground is for pansies. Also, the new Star Wars trailer will debut at halftime, reassuring us that it’s okay to be a sports fan and a nerd at the same time.
Quick side note…today could also be my doomsday. If the Cubs win, the Hawks lose, and Trubinsky looks like garbage I’m calling in sick for the remainder of the week.