Making a Case For the Cubs (Again)

I had to write this last year when the Cubs were down 3-1 to the Indians and there were talks of curses bleeding into the internet like a brain hemorrhage. You might read it and say “wow, this must have been written after the World Series ended because it’s so accurate.” No, my friend. I was just that smart at that moment. Almost as smart as I am dumb at most other moments.

I don’t want to make an argument for this team because it’s led by a penis-faced know-it-all, but as a fan of the White Sox I sometimes find it necessary to prove that I’m not completely biased. So here you go, reasons why the Cubs can come back from 3-0 assuming Joe Maddon doesn’t outsmart himself at some point.

Joe Maddon
Yes he’s intolerable and yes it’s a fact that he’s never taken the blame for any wrong decisions he’s ever made in his life. Even as a child Maddon would blame the adults for giving him too much candy while puking up Butterfingers the morning after Halloween (I made that up, but it’s probably true). However, as painful as it is to say, he is a good manager. His players play for him even if the right players aren’t always playing. The corny broadcaster line of “these guys will play ’till the last out” actually applies here. Trusting Jake Arrieta to through 120 pitches last night instead of relying on a subpar bullpen was probably the best decision he’s made this postseason.

They have to hit at some point…right?
Top to bottom this lineup has been dogshit for most of the postseason. They won last night because Baez connected while swinging as hard as he can and Contreras broke the scoreboard. Other than those three solo dongs they only had two hits on the day.

The problem with the theory of the Cubs’ hitting eventually getting on track is that they’re up against what is probably the best playoff pitching staff they’ve seen in their three consecutive runs to the NLCS. Tonight they get Kershaw, which means they’ll need to win with home runs again because stringing hits against this guy is harder than convincing Mike Ditka that cigars don’t make your lungs tougher. Luckily, that’s a game-script they’re very comfortable with.

Dodgers bats could go silent
You would think not having arguably your two best hitters in the lineup due to injury would catch up to LA sooner than later. Great players leave holes in your lineup. Even though they’ve done well to fill the gaps so far, Corey Seager and Adrian Gonzalez are not bats you can simply replace. Andre Ethier has been a professional hitter for a long time, but he’s also played 38 games in the past two regular seasons combined. Is that really the guy you want hitting fifth on a playoff lineup? Is the volatile Yasiel Puig going to be the same bat-licking spark plug if the team faces some adversity? Can Chase Utley get through this series without his old decrepit ass disintegrating the next time he makes contact with a baseball? Odds are at some point the offense will hit a wall, even if it’s a small one.

There you have it. Just know that since I predicted last year’s outcome correctly down to Kluber’s poor start in Game 7, everything I just said above probably won’t happen. #StayHumble


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